Give it up already!

I overheard a few single women discussing what they were giving up for Lent today.

"Yeah, I am giving up Chocolate."

"I am giving up Starbucks."

"We'll be bitchy, but thinner." (that's my imaginary movie line insert)

A typical exchange between women (THIS IS A GENDER THING?!)...smacking of self-importatnt deprivation that sounds antispiritual and inauthentic.
Contrary to pop notion, lent is not about deprivation or giving something pleasurable up. It is a time of retreat from the routine in order to gain clarity, vision, release. It is a time of preparation, an emptying of sorts, in order to become more receptive to one's purpose, to grace. I don't think giving up chocolate is going to fulfill any spiritual quest.

In fact, it's not about deprivation, it is about preparing for abundance.

Come on, chocolate?

If you need to cut back down on chocolate because it isyour main source of antioxidants, that is one plausible noble endeavor. In that case, instead of saying NO to chocolate, why not say YES to eggplant? But many people use mass traditions (new years, lent, reunions) to rationalize behaviors that they aren't really owning. "I should do X before Y" We've all been there, especially us single gals. But are these traditions of deprivation, like giving up chocolate, adding depth and meaning to your life?

Or are you just doing it to don the appearance of discipline and achievement. Honestly, what does consumption of chocolate or starbucks say about your character? Absolutely nothing. We don't really care if you eat chocolate, gals. No one is watching you and going to give you a gold star for your nobility. Here's a harsh truth...we don't really care about your chocolate consumption.

When are we, whether we are single or paired, male or female, kid or adult, going to stop equating what we consume with our worth? Our cars, our clothes, if we had mayo on the sandwich at lunch, say NOTHING about our worth, wether or not we deserve freedoms or to beloved.

But wait you say: What we choose to consume, however, may say somethingabout our values. For instance, if we choose not to endorse financially organizations that are morally bankrupt, like those producing goods from sweatshops. Or if we choose to be vegetarians out of a value to protect the environment. But seriously, if you have a candy bar, does that mean that you are a sloth? NO! You don't gain power or control or a sense of capability bysaying no. You get it from saying "yes" to your values.
Believe me: you can not buy/not buy or eat/not eat something to gain esteem. Consumption or depravity does not build character.
Our culture says that our hunger or appetites should define who we are...do you agree?