Sunday, November 30, 2008

Whose are you?

Reader, as you pause here, take a deep breathe in. Close your eyes, and make friends with the darkness that will provide the veiling for your image to slowly emerge. Project yourself into that space….
No! You are thinking too hard. Just pause. Are you trying to rush ahead?
Stop
.
Where is the real you? Have you found him/her yet today? Have you acknowledged yourself? Where has the time gone?
There’s an image, albeit fuzzy, it is streaming in at different angles. You are going to have to fine-tune it a bit. Add one splash of color and define the lines a bit. Okay, easy now, turn the knobs of your inner perception, and step into yourself. Ahh…there you are. There you are.

There you are on your first day of school, proudly clutching those crayons and waiting as a whole new terrain unfolds just for your exploration.
There you are, discovering that you were pregnant. There is that moment where your body evoked such an otherness a forgotten language of unity emerges.
There you are, watching a young life thrive and flourish even as a mass of maleficent cells rise up in rebellion and chew away at her youth.
This gift of self-knowing tethers you to something much larger than yourself. The effort of being human is really no effort at all if it is reduced down to survival. But there you are, see yourself? You live amidst the irony of always becoming something new, always adapting and changing, and yet, somehow maintaining coherent sense of you; you stay the same. What nourishes you? What feeds you?
Identity can be a powerful experience if you pay homage to it more often. But the who am I question ultimately does not satisfy. Or if it does, only briefly, before a new hunger presents itself, perpetuating a search for the larger question.
Whose are you?
To whom do you belong?

Where do you belong?
I ask you to pause here again, conjuring up images in your mind. The real and the fantasy. The memory of people or places that are tangible and those that are perhaps unphysical.

Whose are you?
As we began the harried Holiday season, may you feel grounded, capable of caring for yourself with ease and joy...but also connected...

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PhD in clinical psychology. Single. Pushing 30. Suffering Whiplash from the Roaming 20s...Who am I? What do I want? Where do I belong? Welcome to my self-induced treatment, a testament that we can all be a little crazy in our search for significance.