Sunday, June 21, 2009

Yes, IF

In October, I will be moving overseas to serve as a psychologist in a pediatrics department in a large hospital. The move has really invigorated me, allowing me to let go of my anxieties regarding "the direction my life is heading" and "what do or where do you want to go?" Reflective in nature, my brain often suffocates in over pontification, the victim of too many choices and vast land of possibilities saturate it. So, I've let go a bit. Stretching more into my life, having energy to partake in activities I've hankered for in the past and bringing them to fruition. Joined a hiking group, been talking to this charming guy at yoga (The inflexible girl CAN bend!) strolled around farmer's markets tasting Bacon Ice Cream, going on dinner cruises. Perhaps it is the summer, the long light warming my spirit awake to notice how trees stand like Titans and the small sparrows chirp in contstant hunger. Or maybe it's because I know that my time here is limited...and I trusting that "carpe diem" will fulfill me. And yet, single people do move more...this constant state of moving may give others hesitation "I don't want to start that (relationship/project/class) because I won't be here in three months."
In many ways, I am the opposite, plunging myself headfirst into the small community around me. I threw a sock and salad swap last week at work, arranging guests to bring a pair of socks and salads to "share." We're doing appetizers and accessories next. I want to engage, I want to continue building friendships...and others seem to say to me "but you're leaving soon..."After my late twenties, I recognized that the working individual is faced with a tough challenge of building relationships, especially if most of your colleagues are married with children. The friends of mine who are married with children that I share an intimate relationship with are those friends where we solidified our bond prior to them becoming married/with child. "Would you start a relationship right now?"Of course I would...My mantra right now is to BE OPEN. If I start living "no, because" (no, I can't go out with him because he has facial hair) instead of YES, IF (yes, I will take that class if it ends by 8pm tonight), my life would be less authentic, and a perception of DEFICIT would persist. Don't use a stage of your life as a excuse. In the end, you'll end up starved.

2 comments:

  1. I couldn't agree more about not letting a stage in your life serve as an excuse. My family moves a lot, so I think that we approach each place with a sense of adventure and an understanding of how fleeting time can be. We've been in San Francisco for 4 months and have seen more than people have that have lived here their whole lives.

    A sense of adventure is just as important when meeting new people and forming new friendships. I always face that "how can you embark on this or that when you're leaving in a few months", but that's so short sighted. Anything could happen to anyone of us that could turn our world upside down, so you just need to plunge forward and not let timing get in your way.

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  2. I came across you blog today and enjoyed. It was your mention about the stage of life that triggered our interest.

    I'm looking for writers to share their wisdom, thoughts, and experiences from their stage(s) of life. I think people could benefit from your point of view.

    Please reach out to me via our site if you're interested in contributing to our project.

    Take care,

    Eric

    -------
    Eric Thiegs
    CEO/Founder
    Stage of Life.com

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About Me

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PhD in clinical psychology. Single. Pushing 30. Suffering Whiplash from the Roaming 20s...Who am I? What do I want? Where do I belong? Welcome to my self-induced treatment, a testament that we can all be a little crazy in our search for significance.