Saturday, March 28, 2009

Red Shoes

I love red shoe days.
They shine in patent leather. Cheery Red. They clip clop noisily, and push my feet higher making my steps lighter and quicker.
My red shoes get me noticed. Almost every single day they grace my feet, I experience verbal affirmations. Sure, people compliment them …pointing out that those shoes are “killer!” (although I manage to steal their credit) but they also compliment me…my personality, my skills, my interactions are positively reinforced.
So I wonder…how does a pair of shoes spark attention in others? Ignited more confidence n me?
When advising another to acquire some accessory to wear on days she receives cancer treatment---I called it a Fierce Piece---she said “like those shoes?” easily worn, a reminder of vitality, a tool to empower…yes! But more than that…they signal to others: I am HERE! And they evoke acknowledgement. And I think we all want to be noticed.
Is this inclination bad?
The older get, the less concerned I am with what other people think about me. I have many strengths, skills, positive attributes, philosophies…but I still like it when others point these out to me. As a single woman, visual affirmation still matters to me. Perhaps because I live alone and don’t have much visual or physical interaction in my day to day life (touching is NOT encouraged in our litigious culture).
I don’t think wearing red shoes and enjoying these comments reveals a moral or intellectual flaw in me. “But you shouldn’t need others to validate you.”
To that I respond…it’s not me that needs it, it’s the shoes.

What do you do to get noticed? If you are partnered/married/a parent, do you have a different needs?What are your red shoes?


  1. I spend a lot of time trying to NOT get noticed. And it works. So when I do decide that its time to get noticed all I have to do is wear makeup, put on a dress and flaunt my boobies. Honestly, I think its all about feeling good. And if I'm in the mood to show some cleavage, chances are that I'm in a mood to be noticed.

  2. My red shoes ARE my red shoes. Momma says, "You can't have a bad day while you're wearing red shoes."

    I need to find some red flats though because this preggo looks like an olive on a toothpick, and my usual red slingback pumps aren't helping any. :)


About Me

My photo
PhD in clinical psychology. Single. Pushing 30. Suffering Whiplash from the Roaming 20s...Who am I? What do I want? Where do I belong? Welcome to my self-induced treatment, a testament that we can all be a little crazy in our search for significance.